I have not taken any codeine pills since waking up today. My side has been continuously sore and the swelling has not gone down, – nor increased. I have a new thought. A wicked thought that no! it cannot be true! It can’t be real, not this real! But if it is, then the USSR has come to Canada in medicine.
So far I have been to the hospital several times, being run through procedural tests. After nothing major wrong has been found with my side, “whatever it is” has been brushed aside by the doctors not caring enough (by adherence to procedure) to find exactly why my side has inflamed and causes me this aching.
I’ve talked my problem over with my family doctor who seems the most personally concerned but even she seems willing to “wait and see what, if anything more develops.”
This process of care is not at all what I imagine care should be like. I have long imagined this: I go in with a physical problem, the doctor looks, assesses the problem. A specialist is called if necessary. Then the problem is corrected if possible. At the least, I would be told what is happening and possible cures. But that is not what occurred here. I was diagnosed for possible very serious problems first, which did not target my problem at all. What caused that? It was not the evidence. It was procedural, and expensive.
This process is run off the same whoever enters the hospital. The emergency cases are given priority.
The process is slow, so slow that people actually die waiting for care or suffer much longer then need be if things were different. I understand the solution is completely private practise in medicine, but that is not my focus here. My focus is on my new thought.
Concerning my answer, I can conclude the Ontario Medical Association is completely aware of the patients that die or suffer from Canada’s lack of quality government run care since they are a main political lobby group that submits their expertise for political decision-making. They kicked back my letter, shoving me off to a local politician.
With the administration, and political leaders knowing of the people dying or suffering in Canada’s government run medical system, why are they ferociously holding to public health care – even as they know it is failing? The leaders of Canada’s health care system would rather hold to an abstract that professes care than actually doing care. It’s part of Canada’s egalitarian, altruistic adherence.
Holding to an abstract they know isn’t working in “real life” what then is the principle actually at work if it isn’t the facts? Henry? the bum was almost thrown off the train, but Dagny Taggart saved him. He told the story of the twentieth Century Motor Company and how the workers voted on the new plan of sharing profit and losses. The real truth the bum said was not that any worker believed the guff, but each wanted to cheat reality a little bit for an unearned gain. This loathsome bit of dishonesty brought out the worst in people and brought down the company.
I don’t see doctors actually believing altruistic work is right. I also don’t believe Canada’s political leaders actually believe their plans to run health care is working or is right, so then what is their dirty little secret – their bit of dishonesty? What rotten piece of philosophy are they willing to hide behind?
Whatever it is, is the premise of death – and I think they (Ontario Medical Association leaders/local politicians) know it. I think it is that horrible.
December 1, 2011 (Letter to my sister)
I am doing better. I have not taken any of the codeine pills for several days now and am still able to walk around now. It is worst in the morning when I first wake up, but now at least I am off those pills! My left side is still swollen and I worry a little if it may “poison” the rest of my body in some way just by it being stagnant and unmoving. My family doctor has taken another blood test and I must make another appointment to see the results. I’ll complain again of the swelling that hasn’t, “gone away” and ask if anything can be done. I suggested last time I poke a small hole in my stomach and drain it, but the doctor didn’t comment or give me feedback. I don’t think she thought I was serious about it. I’ll ask again if I can take this initiative. Sounds gross, but it is the fluid build up that is probably pressing my other organs and that’s most likely the aching feeling I get in the morning.
It takes almost an hour of moving and walking around before my body “adjusts” and I can continue without noticing it too much. About half the day, I hardly notice it.
Its utterly amazing how Canada’s health care system has spent thousands of dollars on me in the last few weeks yet has not fixed what was wrong, and hasn’t even identified what it is! I was run through a mill, but was not seen as an individual. My family doctor did ask questions and looked the longest. She even asked for some history. I told her about my hernia when I was about 8 years old (I don’t remember it at all). However, the doctor didn’t know for sure.
I have slowed down in my activities. Mentally, I stopped – or was stopped. This was actually a good thing since I have now come to review my direction and what was motivating me and driving me. I have come to think a lot more of my own life on a more physical plane. I’m not thinking morality, but I am very introspective during this time. As long as I keep reason as an absolute, I’ll be fine.
Take good care of your own self.
Dec 4 2011 7:11 am.
I woke with my side a little more sore than usual. The
swelling hasn’t gone down. I’m not taking codeine anymore.
It has stopped looking like a “torn muscle” but I don’t know. .
I have an appointment with my doctor this week so I’ll ask what can be done.
A specialist, I hope will be recommended. Otherwise, I am trying to focus normally again and ignore this side. I am so far behind in work I should have finished by now; study of local municipal activities, more reading on The Freedom Party of Ontario’s updates, emails to interested frineds in Toronto, keep up with ARI’s and Centers latest, etc.
Dec 5 2011.
I finally get what I want – a specialist to look at my side! The doctor asked me that today as I went for the results of my blood test. If she didn’t mention it, then I was going to ask. I mentioned how it still ached in the mornings, but smoothed during the day. She said “It should have gone by now, but since it hasn’t, How do you feel if I refer you to a surgeon.” (specialist). I agreed readily. “Good choice, I would have recommended that also. The specialist will have his / her secretary call me to set up an appointment.” I was glad.
Now this is strange. I hope (whatever it is) doesn’t go away so it can be identified. Personally, I hate the mystery. I hope the appointment can be within days.
I tried doing push ups today, but couldn’t due to feeling it ache and pressure as I did only six. It felt like something might “burst inside my left” so I stopped. Something is clearly wrong. Usually I do thirty when I feel like it.
I hope I’m not disappointed in the specialist. I hope he doesn’t “practise” on me for anything. The specialist will be forwarded all the latest test I just ran through so in a way, I just hope he slits my side open and takes a good look around and siphons any “junk” out and I leave, taking it “easy” for a few weeks. I hope the specialist works on evidence not “procedure.” I want this identified and over with once and for all.
Dec, 17, 12:26 AM. I’ll be working all night, but I have the specialist appointment tomorrow mid afternoon. I’m looking forward to it since I may have a chance to finally find out what the condition is. The other day, I noticed an increase of “activity” in my lower stomach, left side. I don’t know what it was, but it just could be strained muscles. I have to concentrate constantly to look like I’m walking normally – so not to limp. I don’t want people to know. (but those sharp notice). I have started on my last year accomplishments list as a base for this coming years resolutions. I hope to accomplish more than ever. There must be a theme to my life. It must be a good one, but I haven’t hit the ceiling yet. I’d love to see a huge socialist sector collapse this year and people suddenly realize how important businessmen are. I don’t mean I wish to see the economy collapse. In part it is happening in the environmental field. Canada has left Kyoto (good riddance) and just today announced new free and open permits for nannys to work without being saddled to one employer for a duration. Christmas is a difficult period for being serious, but I want to begin the new year right. In taking new responsibilties, I will this year claim “leadership” as a personal drive and attribute. I will look for ways to change my surroundings. I will study more and use my objectivist knowledge in application to my problems. If the worlds getting worse, I’ll be getting better.
January 16, 2012
It’s this coming week before I (finally) get to see this “specialist” about my side. I have felt no “pain” only discomfort, sometimes aching, and lately, a strange pressure after I eat on the same left side.
A fact I must accept is in Canada, people have become worse in health waiting for treatment. I hope this has not been the case with me. I hope that it is rather a diminished problem, rather than a complication due to the wait I have had to do. I will not speculate, but will do all I can, and say all I can with the specialist when I see him this coming week. It seems a rare privilege to finally see this doctor, I don’t want to waste the time I will have with him. He is a surgeon and exceptional. I just hope he is well rested, without stress and focused come my turn to be diagnosed. I hope he gets it right.